"Lack of information and care"

As a teenager, it was decided my condition wasn’t severe enough to warrant treatment. It felt like the doctor was afraid to have a conversation with a teenage boy about his penis. I was given a steroid cream and shown the door.

Only after multiple infections during my 20's was I referred to a urology specialist (I couldn’t tell you their name to save my life) who decided I needed to be circumcised. At this appointment (roughly 2 years ago) I was given a few sheets of paper to tell me what to expect. This was the last real information I received from anyone in the NHS regarding this surgery (including following the surgery being complete last month). I had a rushed appointment (given less than a week’s notice). The person who contacted me by phone could not answer simple questions about the procedure.

The morning of the surgery I felt harassed by a nurse, asking about why my heart rate was high which included questioning my use of prescription or non-prescription drugs multiple times. They then questioned why I had opted for GA. To be clear - I was told by the expert - that GA was the preferred option, and they had no concerns - so why did this staff member question it? The surgeon came round and told me they’d take off ‘the minimum needed’ but explained nothing more than that - how the surgery would work, what I should expect, nothing. I woke up after the surgery, was given toast and tea and left alone except the occasional nurse visit to check my vitals until I was discharged hours later. Upon being discharged I was told not to take a bath for two weeks. This is all that was explained to me. Nothing about potential side effects, things I should expect while healing, when I’ll be able to return to normal activities, when I’d be able to exercise, have sex, nothing. I was given no further information to outline what is normal and what is not.

I had no contact from the hospital again after this, except a call a couple of days later to try and arrange an appointment to have the surgery done, because someone hadn’t updated the notes to say I had been given an appointment and been in for the surgery.

I contacted NHS 24 for advice and was made to feel like I couldn’t contact them without being in excruciating pain. I had a helpful chat with an out of hours GP for maybe 5 mins to reassure me what I was experiencing was normal but again, no long-term explanation - nothing to expect, when I should feel okay, when anything might seem normal. The NHS website says 4 weeks until you can have sex again, at six weeks I am nowhere near ready. There is such a lack of information and clearly no real route into the NHS at this point. I have had to resort to using websites as a source of advice and information which, let’s be honest, is an awful idea. Throughout this entire ordeal, not one nurse, doctor, or health care worker of any description felt the need to sit me down and properly chat through the procedure, how it will work, what I should expect, how to handle the immediate aftermath, timelines; what to do if something doesn’t seem right, what is normal what is not, and when will I be back to normal. This is despite this being a deeply personal and private issue. This is despite it being clear there is no fruitful source of useful information out there readily available. This is an irreversible operation with dire consequences for men of all ages and their ability to function yet absolutely no care was taken. It is no wonder there is an epidemic with men’s mental health in this country if this is how seriously men’s health is now being taken. Everyone involved in this process either clearly didn’t know what they were talking about or didn’t feel they could be bothered to explain what was happening to a young man, clearly displaying signs of anxiety and fear. If I didn’t have a wife to turn to I wonder how this would have turned out.

Until this day, 6 weeks on, I have received no follow up, no check in, no information, no guidance, no expectations, no advice, and simply no care. I feel like I was just a number on the waiting list, a graph down slightly now they’ve got me out of the way. Who knows what consequences this procedure and it’s aftermath have had on my physical, mental and social health, as a direct consequence of the NHS’s delayed action, and complete lack of care when they finally felt they could take action, close to 7 years later. I feel disgusted and betrayed by the NHS. I was lied to and the information available on their website does not equal the reality. I would advise every young man who might need this procedure to consider private options so they don’t suffer the same as me. I am struggling. The NHS is not there for me. I’m sorry to be such a burden to the system.